1
00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:09,827
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,689
KIDS:
Aye, aye, Captain.

3
00:00:11,793 --> 00:00:13,275
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:15,379
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,586
♪ Oh...

6
00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:20,517
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

7
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

8
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:24,448
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

9
00:00:24,551 --> 00:00:26,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

10
00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:28,448
♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

11
00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:30,068
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

12
00:00:30,172 --> 00:00:32,482
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

13
00:00:32,586 --> 00:00:34,482
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪Ready?

14
00:00:34,586 --> 00:00:36,413
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

15
00:00:36,517 --> 00:00:38,586
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

16
00:00:38,689 --> 00:00:40,379
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

17
00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:44,068
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

18
00:00:44,172 --> 00:00:45,241
[ hearty laughter]

19
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:49,000
Captioning sponsored by
MTV NETWORKS

20
00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:05,827
I surrender!

21
00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:07,448
Eh?

22
00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:09,551
I wonder what form
of trickery

23
00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:12,586
is up that miniature
cyclops' sleeve this time.

24
00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:13,827
All right, Plankton,

25
00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:15,862
I don't know what
you're trying to pull on me,

26
00:01:15,965 --> 00:01:18,034
but I'll tell you right now
it ain't gonna work!

27
00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:20,206
There's no pulling, Krabs.

28
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:22,482
Can't you see my peace offering?

29
00:01:22,586 --> 00:01:24,655
What is this?

30
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:25,931
Ha-ha!

31
00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:27,172
Very funny, Plankton!

32
00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:29,448
But you're gonna have to do
a lot better

33
00:01:29,551 --> 00:01:31,758
than taking a stab
at my illiteracy to offend me!

34
00:01:31,862 --> 00:01:34,379
Don't you get it, Krabs?

35
00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:35,517
I give up.

36
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,310
I'm through competing with you!

37
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:39,413
But what about all
those fevered attempts

38
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,724
at trying to steal my
Krabby Patty recipe?

39
00:01:41,827 --> 00:01:45,172
Exactly! They've all been
just attempts,

40
00:01:45,275 --> 00:01:48,931
and every single one
a miserable failure!

41
00:01:49,034 --> 00:01:51,379
I can feel my arteries
clogging up with anxiety

42
00:01:51,482 --> 00:01:52,586
just thinking about it.

43
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:55,103
[ sighs]:
Let me show you something.

44
00:01:55,206 --> 00:01:57,137
Look at this place!

45
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:58,965
Aah! Crimony, Plankton!

46
00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:01,172
You ever hear
of spring cleaning?

47
00:02:01,275 --> 00:02:02,517
What's the point?

48
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:05,620
Do you know when the last time
I had a customer was?

49
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,034
Actually, I can't recall
you everhaving a customer.

50
00:02:08,137 --> 00:02:09,724
Well, there he is!

51
00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:13,000
That's why I've decided to quit

52
00:02:13,103 --> 00:02:15,034
the restaurant business
altogether

53
00:02:15,137 --> 00:02:17,448
and turn the Chum Bucket into...

54
00:02:17,551 --> 00:02:18,793
this!

55
00:02:18,896 --> 00:02:21,379
You want to turn
your restaurant
into a pile of junk?

56
00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:23,793
No! These are knickknacks...

57
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:26,517
for the new gift shop
I'm opening up!

58
00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:27,758
[ laughing]

59
00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:30,517
Come on, this has got to be
a joke, right?

60
00:02:30,620 --> 00:02:32,000
I'm serious, Krabs.

61
00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:35,068
Soon the Chum Bucket will be
a nice little store

62
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:36,344
for bric-a-brac and bubblegum.

63
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,034
All right, Plankton,
but be aware:

64
00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:41,448
I'm not letting me guard down.

65
00:02:41,551 --> 00:02:43,379
Guard away, my ex-enemy.

66
00:02:43,482 --> 00:02:48,379
I'll just be here starting
my new competition-free career.

67
00:02:48,482 --> 00:02:49,931
[ singing happily]

68
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,689
[ muttering]

69
00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,724
What's going on,
Mr. Krabs?

70
00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:56,379
Plankton's concocted
another hair-brained scheme

71
00:02:56,482 --> 00:02:59,068
to steal me recipe--
so keep your eyes peeled.

72
00:02:59,172 --> 00:03:01,068
Whatever you say, Cap'n!

73
00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:05,103
Now, that's an employee
who follows orders.

74
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:06,206
[ rumbling]

75
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:09,068
What in blazes is that noise?

76
00:03:11,793 --> 00:03:14,724
Ah, would you look at that!

77
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:19,206
I have a feeling I'm gonna like
this new life of novelty items.

78
00:03:19,310 --> 00:03:22,103
Uh-huh! Clever, Plankton!

79
00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:24,103
Two can play at this game!

80
00:03:24,206 --> 00:03:25,379
Mr. Krabs,

81
00:03:25,482 --> 00:03:28,965
look at this cool knickknack
I got at the Chumporium!

82
00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:32,379
Hmm. I know there's a microphone
or camera in here somewhere.

83
00:03:32,482 --> 00:03:34,517
[ grunting]

84
00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:36,517
Uh, Mr. Krabs,
I really don't think

85
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:37,793
there's anything weird in there.

86
00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:41,448
Eh, we'll see about that.

87
00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:45,068
I'll just put this in here
for safekeeping.

88
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:46,413
You hear, Plankton?

89
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,344
Join your other friend
from the past!

90
00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:54,310
Now nobody's getting
to see anything!

91
00:03:54,413 --> 00:03:55,551
Don't you understand?

92
00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:58,103
This is all part of his ruse--
it's just cosmetic.

93
00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:00,000
He thinks
he can fake us out.

94
00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:01,413
But we'll show him.

95
00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:03,655
We're gonna out-fake
the faker! Ha-ha!

96
00:04:03,758 --> 00:04:06,689
[ loudly]:
Well, it looks like
old Plankton's

97
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,586
really going through with it.

98
00:04:08,689 --> 00:04:12,896
I guess we don't have to worry
about himanymore.

99
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,827
Yep, we sure whipped him
this time.

100
00:04:16,931 --> 00:04:20,413
Okay, boys, the coast is clear!

101
00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:23,413
Plankton's turned over
a new leaf!

102
00:04:23,517 --> 00:04:25,620
That's some good
news, Mr. Krabs!

103
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,103
It sure is, you little half-wit.

104
00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:29,310
And you know what else
is good news?

105
00:04:29,413 --> 00:04:32,241
We can finally use
that deejay system.

106
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:33,517
Hit it, SpongeBob!

107
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,793
Right away, sir!

108
00:04:34,896 --> 00:04:37,275
Let's party!

109
00:04:37,379 --> 00:04:38,758
[ percussive dance music plays]

110
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,172
[ needle scratching
rhythmically]

111
00:04:40,275 --> 00:04:41,586
[ dance music playing]

112
00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:43,344
Ow! I won!

113
00:04:43,448 --> 00:04:45,310
It's time to boogie!

114
00:04:45,413 --> 00:04:48,620
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

115
00:04:48,724 --> 00:04:50,413
This is idiotic.

116
00:04:50,517 --> 00:04:52,034
Dance or you're fired.

117
00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:55,000
You got it, Mr. Krabs.

118
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:56,241
[ rumbling]

119
00:04:56,344 --> 00:04:58,310
How do you like themapples,
you little...

120
00:04:58,413 --> 00:04:59,793
[ record needle scratches,
music stops]

121
00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:02,068
[ humming happily]

122
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:04,793
Come on, buddy,
let's get some shut-eye.

123
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:08,551
We've got a big day ahead of us
at the Chumporium Gift Shop.

124
00:05:08,655 --> 00:05:10,344
Wait a minute!

125
00:05:12,517 --> 00:05:13,517
What the...?

126
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,172
Store shelves?

127
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:16,827
Novelty toys?

128
00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:18,482
Lava lamps?!

129
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:19,724
[ squeaky gasp]

130
00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:21,620
Useless knickknacks?!

131
00:05:21,724 --> 00:05:23,655
Very convincin'...

132
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,172
but I'm still not buying it!

133
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:27,034
You want a battle, Plankton?

134
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,482
I'm gonna give you a war!

135
00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:31,931
[ Plankton singing happily]

136
00:05:32,034 --> 00:05:34,655
[ singing, laughing]

137
00:05:34,758 --> 00:05:39,241
Ah, a clean snow globe
is a happy snow globe.

138
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,551
[ chuckles]

139
00:05:40,655 --> 00:05:41,655
Plankton!

140
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,344
You may have fooled
everyone else,

141
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,103
you might have even
fooled yourself,

142
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:47,034
but you ain't foolin' me!

143
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,586
Oh. [ chuckles]

144
00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:51,379
I get it--
you caught me red-handed.

145
00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:52,862
[ chuckles]

146
00:05:52,965 --> 00:05:54,620
[ long sigh]

147
00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:57,137
Those were the days,
huh, Eugene?

148
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:58,862
[ angry grunting]

149
00:05:58,965 --> 00:06:01,413
But I found
there was more to life

150
00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:03,586
than just trying to steal
your formula.

151
00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:07,482
I found it all right here,
in novelty items.

152
00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:08,241
Bupkes!

153
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,517
Oh, Eugene...

154
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,344
stuck in your old ways.

155
00:06:11,448 --> 00:06:14,689
Bupkes! If there's one thing
that is certain in this world,

156
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,551
it's that you can't resist
me formula!

157
00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:19,034
You know

158
00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:20,517
you want it.

159
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,448
Thanks... but no.

160
00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:23,655
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I knew it!

161
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,655
It was all a trick to get me
to hand over me...

162
00:06:26,758 --> 00:06:28,724
Wait. Did you say... no?

163
00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:32,482
Well, if you don't believe me,
that's yourproblem, not mine.

164
00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,448
Problem?!
I don't have a problem!

165
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:36,310
You're the one with the problem!

166
00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:37,379
Look at this.

167
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:38,724
It means nothing!

168
00:06:38,827 --> 00:06:40,620
It's all a facade! A hoax!

169
00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:42,482
A con! A front!

170
00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:43,517
[ gasps]

171
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,862
A sham! A snow job!

172
00:06:46,758 --> 00:06:48,758
Baloney with a side of flimflam

173
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,448
and an order of jive!

174
00:06:50,551 --> 00:06:53,482
See? Who's the one
with the problem?!

175
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:56,310
[ crying]:
Look... what you've done.

176
00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:58,827
This is my livelihood!

177
00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,862
Sureit is!

178
00:07:00,965 --> 00:07:05,482
And this isn'tthe formula
that you don'twant.

179
00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:07,827
Come on, eh? Eh?

180
00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:09,310
Woop. Too slow.

181
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:10,655
Ah, ga-ga-
ga-ga-ga.

182
00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:14,172
[ booming]:
Get... out!

183
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:15,275
Huh?

184
00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:17,413
Oh. I get it.

185
00:07:17,517 --> 00:07:20,241
Stick to your guns and
eventually we'll all believe it.

186
00:07:20,344 --> 00:07:23,448
Soften us up,
then when our backs are turned,

187
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:26,137
you make your move.

188
00:07:26,241 --> 00:07:28,620
Oops.

189
00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:30,034
What's this?

190
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:32,758
[ groans]

191
00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:33,931
PLANKTON:
Hey, Krabs!

192
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:36,068
Huh? What?
I knew you'd come back.

193
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,448
You forgot
something.

194
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:41,586
Can't you understand,
I've wasted so much time

195
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:46,137
chasing after you, and now
I have something that's mine.

196
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:49,758
And it makes me... happy.

197
00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:53,517
I never thought I'd see the day.

198
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:56,655
What happened to
the invertebrate I usedto know?

199
00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:58,172
Plankton!

200
00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:01,586
[ sobbing]

201
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:04,758
[ continues sobbing]

202
00:08:08,931 --> 00:08:11,448
[ phone ringing]

203
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:13,758
[ continues ringing][ knobs squeaking]

204
00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,517
Coming, coming.

205
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:16,517
Whew!

206
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:17,551
Yo.

207
00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:19,827
Uh, Plankton?Eugene?

208
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:22,172
Uh... hey.

209
00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:23,241
Hey.

210
00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:26,689
Listen, uh,
I just wanted to...

211
00:08:26,793 --> 00:08:31,241
you know... apologize
for my behavior today.

212
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,103
Wasn't right what I done, and...

213
00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:35,655
and I realized I hurt
the feelings of, uh...

214
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,068
[ clears throat,
coughs nervously]

215
00:08:37,172 --> 00:08:40,379
...of, uh, someone I care about.

216
00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:43,137
You still there?

217
00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:44,379
Yeah.

218
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,827
I'm still here.

219
00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:47,448
[ chuckles]:
Good.

220
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:48,862
Uh...

221
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:51,241
I want to make it up to you.

222
00:08:51,344 --> 00:08:53,551
What do you say we grab a soda?

223
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:54,931
Sure.

224
00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,586
Glad you could
make it, buddy.

225
00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:04,413
So... what's this about, Krabs?

226
00:09:04,517 --> 00:09:07,241
I thought that since we're
no longer archenemies,

227
00:09:07,344 --> 00:09:08,724
maybe...

228
00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:11,517
maybe we can...
start over?

229
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:14,310
Yes.

230
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:17,448
Yes, I would like that
very much.

231
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,551
I guess I won.

232
00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:28,862
[ both laughing]

233
00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:48,965
Uh, I don't know about this,
Plankton.

234
00:09:49,068 --> 00:09:51,551
Oh, come on, just fall back.

235
00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:53,827
Trust me, I'll catch you.
[ chuckles]

236
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:55,413
[ creaking]

237
00:09:55,517 --> 00:09:57,379
[ whistling through air]

238
00:10:00,206 --> 00:10:01,862
[ grunting with effort]

239
00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:04,379
[ grunting]

240
00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,241
[ gasping breaths]

241
00:10:08,827 --> 00:10:12,206
That was truly amazing,
Plank, old buddy.

242
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:15,862
I guess I really can
trust you 100%.

243
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:17,379
Thanks, Eugene.

244
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:19,517
That... means a lot to me.

245
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,206
And just to prove it to you,

246
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:23,034
I want you
to have something.

247
00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:25,517
No, no, come on,
now, no gifts.

248
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,172
No, no. I want you
to have this.

249
00:10:28,275 --> 00:10:29,724
It's me secret formula.

250
00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:32,862
I can't believe
you would even think...

251
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,482
But things are different now.

252
00:10:34,586 --> 00:10:37,517
Honestly,
it would mean a lot to me.

253
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:41,172
You... you're serious.

254
00:10:41,931 --> 00:10:43,482
[ sniffling]

255
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:48,482
Eugene, if I take this formula
from you now,

256
00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:52,000
there will always be
a hint of doubt.

257
00:10:52,103 --> 00:10:54,379
Come on, take it.

258
00:10:56,482 --> 00:10:58,896
You sure?

259
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:03,586
[ sighs]

260
00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:05,413
Life is good, Krabs.

261
00:11:05,517 --> 00:11:07,034
Sure is, buddy.

262
00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:09,448
Sure is.

263
00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:12,896
Yeah, baby!

264
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,206
This is it!

265
00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:15,586
Yeah!

266
00:11:15,689 --> 00:11:18,517
Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

267
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,068
[ laughing loudly]

268
00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:21,137
Yeah!

269
00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,206
I got it! I got it!

270
00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:27,896
My diabolical, extremely
convoluted plan worked!

271
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,068
I should have been a politician.

272
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,517
[ laughing]

273
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:36,620
I'd never give
you the formula!

274
00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:38,172
[ Krabs laughing]

275
00:11:38,275 --> 00:11:42,275
I fooled you with an even more
convoluted charade!

276
00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:44,551
[ laughing]

277
00:11:46,137 --> 00:11:49,344
[ Plankton yelling]

278
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:07,689
[ chirping]

279
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,344
What a sun-tastic day!

280
00:12:10,448 --> 00:12:11,379
Whoa!

281
00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:15,275
Snail trail.

282
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:19,931
That SpongeBob needs to keep
his pet out of my yard.

283
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,206
I am sick of cleaning up
after him.

284
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,103
[ muttering]

285
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:32,413
Not my pet rock collection.

286
00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:34,137
[ blubbering]

287
00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:37,793
That's it!

288
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:41,172
This isn't the first time
you've soiled my yard

289
00:12:41,275 --> 00:12:43,275
with your revolting
excretions.

290
00:12:43,379 --> 00:12:46,172
But mark this down
in your little notebook.

291
00:12:46,275 --> 00:12:51,448
It will be the last time!

292
00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:58,103
Ow!

293
00:13:01,137 --> 00:13:05,517
This cheap splintery wood
will keep even Gary out.

294
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,241
Now I feel safe.

295
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:13,068
[ squishing]

296
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,586
Huh?

297
00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:21,275
SpongeBob!

298
00:13:21,379 --> 00:13:22,448
Hi, Squidward.

299
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,896
[ calm voice]:
Hey, SpongeBob.

300
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,034
[ yelling]:
Keep your shell vermin
off of my property!

301
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:30,965
Then next time, my annoyingly
yellow neighbor,

302
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:33,586
your wet pet oozes
on my lawn,

303
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,620
you'll leave me
no choice

304
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:37,827
but to call snail control.

305
00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,931
That little monster...

306
00:13:40,034 --> 00:13:43,310
[ sputtering][ growling]

307
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:44,896
He bit me!

308
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,482
Gary!

309
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,310
No, dirty boy.

310
00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:49,413
This isn't like you.

311
00:13:49,517 --> 00:13:52,551
Oh, but it's just
like you, SpongeBob,

312
00:13:52,655 --> 00:13:54,793
to raise such
a misbehaved mollusk.

313
00:13:54,896 --> 00:13:56,724
Gary's not
misbehaved.

314
00:13:56,827 --> 00:13:59,620
[ snarling]

315
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:01,793
But there does appear
to be something wrong with him.

316
00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:04,724
I'll say.
I hope he's
had his shots.

317
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,310
Oh, of course.

318
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,379
All of his shots?

319
00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:08,310
Affirmatory.

320
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:09,413
For rabies?Yep.

321
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:12,379
Snail pox and soft shell dance?Yupie.

322
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:15,689
Bagitis, lumpy-bump trump,
teen angst?Yep, yep, yep.

323
00:14:15,793 --> 00:14:18,551
Let's not forget
the worst of them all.

324
00:14:18,655 --> 00:14:20,965
Mad snail disease.

325
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,103
Uh...

326
00:14:22,206 --> 00:14:24,586
You mean your pet
hasn't been vaccinated

327
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:26,827
for mad snail disease?

328
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:29,758
Looks like the rash
has already started.

329
00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:31,241
Rash?

330
00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:34,379
Tell me, do you have
any soreness of throat?

331
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,172
[ gulps]

332
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,551
Well, now that you
mention it

333
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:38,931
my throat is
a little dry.

334
00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:42,241
This disease will ravage
your body

335
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:46,206
with bloodshot eyes,
loss of balance,
Whoa.

336
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:47,551
messy pants,

337
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:49,931
ticklish rib cage,[ laughing]

338
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:52,172
severely untrimmed
toenails

339
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:55,448
and finally, the bite
from that infected snail

340
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:58,758
will turn you
into...

341
00:14:58,862 --> 00:14:59,689
A zombie.

342
00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:03,000
[ screaming]

343
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:06,000
You need to get that snail
of yours to a doctor

344
00:15:06,103 --> 00:15:08,517
before he bites
someone important.

345
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:09,896
[ both gasp]

346
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,758
There's a mad snail
on the loose!

347
00:15:11,862 --> 00:15:13,275
[ screaming]

348
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,241
Gary? Gary? Gary? Gary?!

349
00:15:15,344 --> 00:15:17,448
[ screaming]

350
00:15:17,551 --> 00:15:19,172
The mad snail is coming!

351
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:22,827
If he bites you,
you'll turn into
a zombie.

352
00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:25,517
Jeepers, what's with
all the lunatics?

353
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:29,620
Oh, look, honey,
isn't he the cutest?

354
00:15:29,724 --> 00:15:32,137
[ panting]

355
00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:33,896
Come here,
little buddy.

356
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,068
He's just adorable.

357
00:15:39,241 --> 00:15:41,275
Mad snail disease is real!

358
00:15:41,379 --> 00:15:44,551
I'm a zombie.
I've been bitten
by a mad snail.

359
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,448
I've got mad
snail disease!

360
00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:49,310
Then I've got it!
A snail just bit me, too!

361
00:15:49,413 --> 00:15:51,827
[ both screaming]

362
00:15:51,931 --> 00:15:54,551
[ screaming]

363
00:15:58,241 --> 00:15:59,931
[ all screaming]

364
00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:04,862
We interrupt this program
to bring you a news blast.

365
00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,448
This just in...

366
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,275
Fear and disease is spreading
like wildfire

367
00:16:11,379 --> 00:16:13,862
as a killer snail has been
biting the denizens

368
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:15,137
of Bikini Bottom.

369
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:18,896
Infecting them with...

370
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,379
Ask any old fish on the street
and they'll tell you

371
00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:23,310
that germs enter through
the bite radius.

372
00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,310
Traveling upstream until
the entire host body

373
00:16:25,413 --> 00:16:29,310
is full of...

374
00:16:29,413 --> 00:16:32,034
We now take you to Action News
Reporter Perch Perkins

375
00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:33,655
live on the scene.

376
00:16:33,758 --> 00:16:35,620
Perch Perkins here with
with the first victim

377
00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:36,931
of this epidemic.

378
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,931
Tell me, Mr. Tentacles,
when did you first

379
00:16:39,034 --> 00:16:41,689
begin to suspect
you were a zombie?

380
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,620
Well, after I was bitten
by a mad snail

381
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:46,379
I began to get a rash.

382
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:49,344
Followed by loss of balance,
ticklish rib cage

383
00:16:49,448 --> 00:16:51,206
and a few other symptoms.

384
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,275
Hey, I was bitten
by a snail.

385
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,275
I kind of feel
off balance.

386
00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:56,931
Whoa.

387
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:59,103
Hey, I have ticklish
ribs, too.

388
00:16:59,206 --> 00:17:00,620
And I haven't even
been bitten.

389
00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,931
Oh, no, it's spreading
through the air!

390
00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:05,034
[ all screaming]

391
00:17:05,137 --> 00:17:06,551
Well, you heard it
here first.

392
00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,793
We're all doomed
to a horrible demise,

393
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:10,344
thanks to a diseased snail.

394
00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:12,103
[ screaming]

395
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,413
[ screaming]

396
00:17:16,172 --> 00:17:19,137
[ all screaming]

397
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:21,034
Gary?

398
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:23,482
[ horns honking]

399
00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:26,517
I can't believe that sweet
and slimy snail

400
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:29,000
would cause all this
destruction.

401
00:17:29,103 --> 00:17:30,586
[ Squidward moaning]

402
00:17:30,689 --> 00:17:33,344
I'm a zombie,

403
00:17:33,448 --> 00:17:37,034
here to dine on your
squishy yellow flesh.

404
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:38,827
[ moaning]

405
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:40,275
[ gasps]

406
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:43,344
[ all moaning]

407
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:51,034
[ screaming]

408
00:17:57,758 --> 00:17:59,206
[ screaming]

409
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:06,620
It's locked!

410
00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:08,517
[ moaning]

411
00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:12,103
Somebody let me in.

412
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:13,620
SpongeBob, come in, boy.

413
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:14,793
And bring your friends
in, too.

414
00:18:14,896 --> 00:18:16,206
They look
hungry.

415
00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:19,655
Stop! You can't
let anyone in!

416
00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:21,965
But they just want to dine
on some krabby patties.

417
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,482
They're zombies.

418
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,551
They only want to dine
on our flesh.

419
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:29,034
All right, but it's coming
out of your paycheck.

420
00:18:29,137 --> 00:18:30,068
I don't work here.

421
00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:32,551
But, Mr. Krabs,
it's me SpongeBob.

422
00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:34,482
But how do we know
you haven't become

423
00:18:34,586 --> 00:18:36,172
one of those voracious
flesh-eaters?

424
00:18:36,275 --> 00:18:38,758
Could a voracious
flesh-eater do this?

425
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:42,172
SpongeBob, it's you.

426
00:18:42,275 --> 00:18:44,965
That's right,
so let me in
before I'm eaten.

427
00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:48,172
Yeah, that's SpongeBob
all right.

428
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:50,034
Or is it?Huh?

429
00:18:50,137 --> 00:18:53,724
I don't believe that's
the real SpongeBob.

430
00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:56,620
He looks pretty
zombie-fied.

431
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,620
Just look at how
yellow he is.

432
00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:01,482
Come on, Patrick, would a zombie
have a picture of his best buddy

433
00:19:01,586 --> 00:19:03,000
in his wallet?

434
00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:06,000
Perhaps not.

435
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,689
But I've got
my eye on you.

436
00:19:07,793 --> 00:19:10,827
If you could pull out your eye
and put it on him,

437
00:19:10,931 --> 00:19:12,827
wouldn't that make you

438
00:19:12,931 --> 00:19:14,655
a zombie, too?

439
00:19:14,758 --> 00:19:16,241
[ all gasping]

440
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,620
You're right.

441
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,172
I'm a zombie!

442
00:19:20,275 --> 00:19:23,068
Who's to say we're not
all zombies?

443
00:19:23,172 --> 00:19:24,586
[ screaming]

444
00:19:31,827 --> 00:19:33,103
[ all gasping]

445
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,000
ALL:
The snail!

446
00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:36,103
Gary!

447
00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,551
Are you okay, buddy?

448
00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:39,137
Come here, boy.

449
00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:40,931
No, don't get near it.

450
00:19:41,034 --> 00:19:42,344
Oh, the pity of it all.

451
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:43,586
I can't watch.

452
00:19:43,689 --> 00:19:46,275
All those people think
you're a monster,

453
00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:48,172
but I know you're
just a snail.

454
00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:51,103
[ barking]

455
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:53,241
[ all gasping]

456
00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:54,586
[ belches]

457
00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:57,413
Gary...

458
00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:58,896
[ sniffling]

459
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,172
...how could you?

460
00:20:00,275 --> 00:20:01,689
[ snarling]

461
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:04,655
SpongeBob's been infected
by his own pet snail.

462
00:20:04,758 --> 00:20:06,344
Oh, the irony.

463
00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:08,586
Quick, we must quarantine
that infected snail

464
00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:11,068
before he bites
every last Bikini Bottomite.

465
00:20:11,172 --> 00:20:12,448
Let's get that snail.

466
00:20:12,551 --> 00:20:13,482
ALL:
Yeah!

467
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:15,862
[ angry shouting]

468
00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:19,241
No, don't hurt him.

469
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,103
Hand over the snail.

470
00:20:22,344 --> 00:20:24,965
It's for his own good,
SpongeBob.

471
00:20:25,068 --> 00:20:27,724
No, I won't let you
touch Gary.

472
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,482
Stop the madness,
man.

473
00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:32,172
The mad snail disease
ends now.

474
00:20:32,275 --> 00:20:33,965
Seize the snail.

475
00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:34,965
Halt!

476
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,793
Did someone say
mad snail disease?

477
00:20:38,896 --> 00:20:41,551
Is that what all this fuss
is about?

478
00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:44,137
Yeah. What do you
know about it?

479
00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:45,586
Funny you should ask.

480
00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,448
Allow me to introduce myself.

481
00:20:47,551 --> 00:20:49,275
Dr. Gill Gilliam.

482
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:51,724
S.D.E.   S.E.

483
00:20:51,827 --> 00:20:53,724
"S.D.E.   S.E."?

484
00:20:53,827 --> 00:20:57,034
Snail disease expert
and snail expert.

485
00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:59,241
I'm sorry to break
this to you all,

486
00:20:59,344 --> 00:21:02,758
but that "mad snail disease"
you're talking about

487
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:05,172
it doesn't exist.

488
00:21:05,275 --> 00:21:06,103
ALL:
Huh?

489
00:21:06,206 --> 00:21:08,275
That's right, no such thing.

490
00:21:08,379 --> 00:21:11,344
It's an old urban legend,
a myth.

491
00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:14,068
Well, does that mean
we're not zombies?

492
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,827
Of course not.

493
00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:16,965
No one is.

494
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,620
It's just mass hysteria.

495
00:21:18,724 --> 00:21:21,172
But what about my severely
untrimmed...?

496
00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:23,758
Those are only
moderately untrimmed.

497
00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:27,103
All the supposed symptoms
are just common ailments.

498
00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:28,655
Easy, boy.

499
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:30,344
But what about Gary then?

500
00:21:30,448 --> 00:21:32,068
If he doesn't have
a disease,

501
00:21:32,172 --> 00:21:35,344
why'd he bite
all those people
including me?

502
00:21:36,827 --> 00:21:38,551
Hmm?

503
00:21:38,655 --> 00:21:40,551
Uh-huh, the problems
right here.

504
00:21:40,655 --> 00:21:42,551
He's got
a little splinter

505
00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:44,137
in his foot.

506
00:21:50,103 --> 00:21:53,413
I'm sure this was causing
him distemper.

507
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:56,551
Making for serious
grouchy snailitis.

508
00:21:56,655 --> 00:22:00,689
Oh, Gary, I knew you weren't
disease-ridden.

509
00:22:00,793 --> 00:22:02,172
Do you still love me?

510
00:22:02,275 --> 00:22:03,103
Meow.

511
00:22:03,206 --> 00:22:04,551
[ laughing]

512
00:22:04,655 --> 00:22:06,206
Good old Gary's back.

513
00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:08,931
[ moaning]

514
00:22:12,793 --> 00:22:16,034
Hey, Squidward,
you're not a zombie, remember?

515
00:22:16,137 --> 00:22:19,172
Oh, yes, I am.

516
00:22:19,275 --> 00:22:21,275
Welcome to the Krusty Krab.

517
00:22:21,379 --> 00:22:23,034
May I take your order?

518
00:22:23,137 --> 00:22:24,482
All's well that ends well.

519
00:22:24,586 --> 00:22:26,068
[ loud snap]

520
00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:30,172
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org